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Top Ten Christmas Headlines
1.New Scientific research shows Rudolph’s red nose caused by massive steriod use.
2.Due to recent tarriffs Santa Forced to skip US this year.
3.Rudolph nose SO bright he is unable to sneak across U.S. border.
4.Gnomes removed from all childrens books as a terrible example of how to spell.
5.Figgy pudding banned from public school lunches after discoverying it contains all pudding and NO figgy.
6.Rudolph the RED nose reindeer’s lesser know brother; Randolph the BROWN nose reindeer is now CEO and majority stock holder in Santa Corporation.
7.Because of global warming the abominable snow man to now be referred to as the “Fairly Moist Gentleman from the north”.
8.To simplify names and reduce confusion The United Postal Service and United Parcel Service will merge and now be called USPSUPS.
9.Google Earth reveals Dr. Campbell’s offices built on Indian Burial Grounds. In an unrelated story Dr. Campbell is planning to open a Free Union Indian Casino with loose slots later this year.
10.Homemakers spiked hot cocoa now 92% GMO free.by Mark Neisser
